My heart and mind still yearn for that special child...

Many probably wonder..."Are the Freys still adopting?" "I haven't heard anything lately." Or at least that is what my "mind-reading" mind is thinking. We are, we are! We just want to follow God's timing...and we all know how that works. Let's just say...not like our's, not even a little bit! Our friends moved here (which I'm sure I posted some pics of) and every time I see those two precious babies...I am reminded that I have a purpose...not yet fulfilled.
Adoption has lots of emotions to it. And we are just beginning. On good days with my kiddos...I feel I can take on two or three more homeless children. Give them a home of comfort, joy, peace, and love. On not-so-good days (and we all have them, don't kid yourself) I say to myself..."really God? Me? You want me...me of oh-little-patience...to adopt your orphan children?" And before I go to sleep...sometimes w/ tears, sometimes without...He and Brett (Brett is a very important component in helping me validate what is real or just natural effects of overworked, over tired mommy syndrome) both gently remind me...that God has a divine purpose. He absolutely does and I'm all about HIS Will for my life...even if I'm not sure what it is...its a FAITH walk.
Its too easy to allow Satan to convince me that I shouldn't adopt if I'm NOT the "has it all-together, patient as Job, rich as __________, self-disciplined as _______, kind of mommy...and my kids must be obedient all the time and respectful no matter what or I'm not fit to adopt." I have days when I can buy that hook-line and sinker. Because I am aware of the challenges of adoption. I am not one to be naive and think its a smooth sailing cake walk. But I refuse to allow Satan to generate foolish fear within me and keep me from accomplishing what God deams as a pure and faultless religion...to take care of his orphans and windows in their distress. The day will come! Till then I pray and dream for that special child (or children) that my heart and mind yearn for.